Warning! Before you explore this site any further, please take note. If you suspect your internet activity is being tracked by an abuser, you may want to learn how to Clear your Computer's History Cache. Your computer will record the last 10 pages you've visited on the internet, and if someone is tracking your activity by reviewing your computer's history file, you will want to delete the evidence of where you've been.
Some people think that domestic violence is only severe physical battering, but that is only one facet of the spectrum of abuse that is considered domestic violence.
Domestic Violence, or Intimate Partner Violence, is defined as the pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors, including physical, sexual, and mental/psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion, that adults or adolescents use against their intimate partners.
If you have a sexual relationship or a past sexual history with someone, they are considered an intimate partner. If that person regularly tries to control your actions, behavior, and thoughts, then they are abusing their power and control over you.
 |
| Click to view a larger version of this graphic. |
| Click to view a Creator based version of this model. |
| Click here to view the Equality Wheel. |
Power and Control Wheel
The Power and Control Wheel, developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, (Duluth, MN) is a visual aide to demonstrate the dynamics of power and control in abusive relationships.
At the center of the behavior is the desire of an individual to maintain power and control of their partner, and of the relationship. While each individual abuser will use different methods to assert their power and control, there tends to be many common traits of abusive behavior. These common traits include: emotional abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, isolation, intimidation, using gender privilege, threats, and manipulating children or other people.
Surrounding these common traits, or patterns of behavior, is the overall threat or actual use of physical force to coerce compliance, and to keep the victim in a constant state of terror and fear.
This pattern of behavior takes place in a Cycle of Violence. The violence cycles through a repeating pattern, and often and gets worse over time.
1) Psychological & Emotional Abuse
Putting you down or making you feel bad about yourself, calling you names. Implying no one else would want you/put up with you. Telling you that you are too "ugly, stupid or weak" to make other choices. Telling you details about other partners/sexual affairs for the purpose of intimidating you or making you jealous and angry. Making you feel guilty. Blaming you for things not in your control. Making you think you're crazy, or that you are imagining things. Setting rules for your behavior, dress, and conduct. Mind games. Yelling. Stalking. Leaving harrassing messages on the phone, or calling in the middle of the night and hanging up.
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT CONTROLLING BEHAVIORS CLICK HERE.
2) Using Isolation
Controlling what you do, who you see and talk to, where you go, what you read. Limiting your outside involvement. Limiting or cutting off your access to friends or relatives. Using jealousy to justify actions. Stalking your movements by checking the car odometer and/or timing you when you run errands to make sure you do not go anywhere you do not "have permission" to go.
3) Intimidation
Putting you in fear by using looks, actions, gestures, loud voice, smashing things, destroying your property. Abusing pets. Displaying weapons. Deliberately frightening you. Telling you ways that you or your loved ones could die.
4) Minimizing, Denial & Blame
Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously. Saying the abuse didn't happen. Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior to you. Putting blame for abusive behavior on other people, drugs and/or alcohol, work, stress, external circumstances.
5) Economic Abuse
Trying to keep you from getting or keeping a job. Refusing to get a job, forcing you to be the only financial contributor to the family. Making you ask for money, giving you an allowance, taking your money. Using money for personal pleasure (gambling, buying expensive things, buying drugs); not using money for necessary things (paying rent, buying groceries, paying for medical expenses) Putting you in financial risk (running up large debts, not paying taxes.) Not letting you know about, or have access to, family income or assets.
6) Sexual Abuse
Raping you. Making you do sexual acts against your will. Physically attacking the sexual parts of your body. Treating you like a sex object. Forcing you to have sex when you do not want it. Persistently pressuring for sex, forcing sex in front of others, with children or third parties. Forcing you into prostitution. Trying to coerce you into sex by threat or intimidation. Telling you that you "owe" sexual favors. Forcing you to have unprotected sex against your will. Knowingly exposing you to sexually transmitted diseases. Lying about birth control, sexually transmitted diseases, or sterility/fertility.
7) Using Children
Making you feel guilty about the children. Using the children to give messages or as "spies" to report your actions to the batterer. Using visitation as a way to harass you. Telling the children you are a "bad parent" or calling you names in front of them. Telling children false or misleading stories intended to make you look bad and uncaring. Threatening to hurt them if you do not comply with batterer's wishes. Abusing the children.
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT CHILD ABUSE, CLICK HERE.
8) Using Coercion and Threats
Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt you. Threatening to stop economic support, leave, take the children, commit suicide, report you to welfare or immigration. Making you drop legal charges or do illegal things. Threatening to have you fired from your job or kicked out of your apartment/home. In homosexual relationships, threatening to "out" you to others. Stalking you.
9) Gender Privilege - Unequal Balance of Power
Treating you like a servant. Making all the big decisions. Not respecting or asking for your opinion. Acting like the "master of the castle." Telling you that you must do what you are told and not ask questions. Being the one to define the balance of power and the partner roles in the relationship.
10) Spiritual Abuse
Not allowing you to have or maintain your own spiritual belief system. Forbidding you to attend church or religious gatherings. Ridiculing your beliefs and keeping you away from your source of spiritual strength. Forcing you to attend a church you do not agree with. Threatening to have you excommunicated. Manipulating a pastor, church counselor, or spiritual leader to provide joint marriage counseling to force you to "confess your sins" without taking accountability on the abuser's part or admitting to the abuse. Justifying abuse by stating that is it religious law, sanctioned by the church or church officials, or "God's will."
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT SPIRITUAL ABUSE CLICK HERE.
11) Physical Abuse
Punching, kicking, grabbing, slapping, choking, pulling hair, pushing, shoving, spitting, poking, hitting, pinching, twisting arms, tripping, biting, beating, throwing you down, restraining, burning, threatening you with or using a weapon against you, shaking, controlling or denying access to health/medical care resources. Making you use alcohol or drugs.
- Power and Control Wheel adapted from Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
206 West Fourth Street, Duluth, Minnesota 55806
Do you want to get out of an abusive relationship?
Or do you just want to know more about domestic violence?
If you or someone you know has experienced some or all of the abusive behaviors listed above, call your local domestic violence program. You can speak with an advocate who is familiar with domestic violence issues, and who can advise you on the safest way to protect you and your children from further abuse. If you have been assaulted or harmed by your spouse or partner, or if you have been a victim of sexual assault and need help, advice, legal referral or emergency shelter, call:
 |
HAVEN From Domestic Violence 24 hour HAVEN Hotline |
| Helping Hands Against Violence PO Box 441 Hood River, OR 97031 Office: 541-386-4808 Hotline: 541-386-6603 Collect calls accepted. Serving OREGON - Hood River County |
|
|
Programs for Peaceful Living White Salmon 98672 |
|
| Skamania County Council on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Serving WASHINGTON - Skamania County Hotline: 509-427-4210 Collect calls accepted. |
Love doesn't hurt. If someone is deliberately frightening you or hurting you, it isn't Love.
No one deserves to be hurt!
Domestic violence is caused by the abuser, and not by anything the victim says or does.
Other information:
Restraining Orders
Safety Plans
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
http://www.ndvh.org/
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)
P. O. Box 18749
Denver, CO 80218-0749
(303) 839-1852 / (303) 831-9251 FAX
http://www.ncadv.org
Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (DAIP)
206 West Fourth Street,
Duluth, Minnesota 55806
(218) 722-2781
http://www.duluth-model.org/daipmain.htm
Mending the Sacred Hoop
202 East Superior Street
Duluth, MN 55802
218-722-2781
http://www.duluth-model.org/daipmain.htm
Native American model - Creator Wheel
|
||||||||
|
|
|||||||
DISCLAIMER: A2Zgorge.info is an information and referral service provider and is not liable or responsible for direct services provided by any individual, business or organization listed. Please report any problems you experience directly to the business or organization in question. If you do not receive satisfaction, we suggest you file a report with the Better Business Bureau . The information on this site is for information purposes only, and not to be considered legal advice, or to take the place of consulting an appropriate medical or mental health professional. Would you like to make a correction or an addition?
A2ZGORGE.INFO © COPYRIGHT 2003 - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
